After intense pressure by my readers, I have returned to the blogging arena. Time does slip away from a person.
So, while I was absent, I joined a bowling league. I pretty much suck at bowling, but I thought it would be fun. When I told my sister this ... I think she was in shock. Maybe that I was settling into small town life too much. Here's how that went down.
C: Wai, wai, wait ... you joined a bowling league.
K: Yeah, I need a social life.
C: Do you bowl with Carrie Fischer (um, not her real name -- obviously).
K: Who?
C: Carrie Fischer ... used to be Underwood (again not her real name).
K: Oh, god no. Its a work thing.
C: Oh ... good --- I was going to have to start worrying about you.
Okay ... anyway. We're 5 weeks into a 19 week league. Its .... fun. Sort of. I'm getting better slowly. Here's the recap of my first 5 weeks .... and I'll be updating this throughout my season.
Week 1. So ... what the hell does someone wear to bowling these days? I wore jeans and a t-shirt. I know one person on my 4-some. My co-worker, Nancy -- who by the way -- owns her own bowling ball and bowls 4 nights a week. Then there's Doug, who also owns his own ball, but hasn't bowled in a couple of years. He's a little umm.... intense .... that seems like a good descriptive word. Then there's Duan, (pronounced Da-wand -- not Duane, like Nancy called him all night). He's quiet. Doesn't own a ball -- and showed up 10 minutes after we started bowling. NICE -- what a way to be on time.
Okay and let me preface any further conversation by saying that we are bowling at Fischer Lanes, which is right next door to our office. Fischer isn't the most modern of bowling alleys it's retro .. .but only because the place hasn't been remodeled since it opened like 100 years ago. I still expect to see George Henson standing behind the bar pouring beer and yelling at people for screwing around on the lanes. The equipment works for the most part and when it doesn't ... this 16 year old kid quickly runs down the lane to fix it.
And while we are on the topic ... even in my novice bowling experience, I know there are common courtesy rules when bowling ... like wait for the person next to you to go before you run up to throw your ball. Yeah, so the team we were bowling against didn't follow that rule at all .... even after the League Manager annouced that rule at the start of night one. It didn't bother me .. but it totally threw Doug's game off. Finally in the middle of the 2nd game, Nancy said something to them ... because Doug and the team on the neighboring lane were clearly irritated about. Their response was "we're just here to have fun". Yeah, well duh, we all are dorks -- but you still have to follow the rules. After that, they really didn't talk to us too much. Seriously ... let's act like teeny-boppers in high school.
So, I had 3 okay games. All over 100. Doug bowled about the same as me. Nancy was slightly better and Duan threw like 4 strikes in a row in every game. After week 1, our team is in 3rd place in the league.
Week 2.
So, I get this great idea to go work out before going to bowl. It sounded good on paper. I even brought a change of clothes -- except clean underwear. Forgot those. Oops. Yeah, that didn't work out too well. A. I felt sweaty and hot all night. B. I felt like I smelled like sweat. C. When I got sweaty from bowling ... it just made my panties even more wet. UGH. Never again. I got home that night and threw like 4 pair of undies in my gym bag.
So this night. Duan was a no-show completely. Seriously ... didn't even get a sub at all. Nancy wasn't there either -- but she got a sub. So that totally jacked things up for our team. I know there is some mathematical formula to compute a no-shows score .. but it jacks up the team score. Again I bowled okay ... Doug did okay, the sub did ok. It was a fun night, but we got beat. Crap.
Oh, and now we have handicaps, whatever that means. Mine is 76. Nancy's is like 17. I'm not sure how it all works -- except the lower the number the better. My average is 104.
And I learned another thing about bowling. It makes me gassy. I know, gross right? I don't get it. My sister tried to tell me that was natural because movement loosens stuff up ... which is why the dog has to poop when you go for a walk or people have to poop when they are on the treadmill. I'm almost buying this ... considering I feel like I have to poop when I'm at the gym ... but gas? I don't know where that comes from -- I mean, I know where it comes from, I just didn't know why it had to be on that night at that time. I wasn't like that all day. It kinda screwed up my game a little .... because I always felt like I had to fart when it was my time to throw. Not a good thing.
Week 3.
Duan showed up this week ... albeit late again. I asked him what happened to him the previous week and he said he had study group. Um, hello!! And you couldn't get a sub? And yes, I did say that out loud to him -- come on! Thanks for throwing us under the bus.
Doug and Nancy both showed up, although Doug had to leave suddenly in the middle of the 2nd game. Tonight I didn't go to the gym first. I did some running around, went to Jimmie Johns for dinner -- wolfed a sub down and then went bowling. I was wearing my work clothes and during game number 2 .. I again noticed the "sweaty in the butt" syndrome -- and the gassy thing. Both were annoying to me .. but I guess that is just the way its going to be.
We played against a team of 4 guys ... one of which only threw strikes and spares. Needless to say we got our asses kick. We are now officially in last place in the league.
Week 4.
I didn't go this week. I had a sub, but Nancy told me later that Duan didn't show up again AND no sub for him. Again we lost. The league manager told me we could get a trophy for that. woo... yipee.
Week 5.
Monday morning early, Nancy comes by my desk and tells me that Duan is in the hospital or something and she found this out ... not because he called her --but because she went up to his floor looking for him to see if he was going to blow off bowling again and his cube-mate told her. So she found a sub and then officially kicked him off the team. The guy that is going to replace him is good. (he was a sub on the all guy team that kicked our butts in Week 3).
I wear jeans and a t-shirt to bowling and my heart rate monitor because I want to see what the true calorie burn is for the night. I'm hot and sweaty again by game 2 .. and yes .. more gas! Bad gas too. UGH. I have to go to the restroom twice to relieve myself. I even fart by the bar when no one is around. It doesn't really help. One was so loud it sounded like thunder. Seriously!! I think there is something wrong with me. Maybe I have a bowel obstuction and the gas is a warning sign!!
I bowled crappy tonight ... 132 the first game, which I decided was a fluke. 83 the second which was a higher score than anyone on the other team. 111 the third game. I'm still not 100% sure what the handicap all means or why its factored into our final score. In any event, we finally won all three games. The sub was okay ... although, I watched him eat an entire frozen pizza by himself and guzzle about 6 beers down. whew ... hope he was walking. He Ukrainain and told Nancy and me half way through the 3rd game that he didn't understand bowling much. He just wanted to get to know people and have some fun. Sweet ... gotta like that!! Doug probably bowled his best tonight ... which helped us WIN. Nice. No more last place for us!!
My little experiment with my heart rate monitor? I burned off 836 calories in 2 1/2 hours! Wow! Who knew bowling was so exercise-like?
Oh and in case you wanted to know ... cake vodka with diet mountain dew is pretty tasty and only 110 calories.
Okay .. next week, Nancy is out again, so another sub and our new teammate. I'll be back to update how that all goes.
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