Eighteen Bucks, a glass of lemonade and a barf bag

I went to the Dubuque County Fair again this year ... but not as a worker -- as a spectator.  It was just as hot as last year .. but I wasn't cooped up inside a box at least.   

The week before the DBQ County Fair, I took my niece, Abby,  to see Blake Shelton at the Jones County Fair.   She admitted to me when we got there that she had never been to a concert before. WOW! She's 22-ish!  Weird.  Okay, so that put some pressure on me to make sure she had a good concert experience.  

So we drove to Monticello and parked at my friend Tina's and hung out there for a few moments ... and then walked over to the fairgrounds ... which was literally 3 blocks away, paid our $10 admission and then went inside to eat some fair food.  We both had corn dogs and both agreed that they were gross.  (Even though I ate the whole thing) Then after walking around looking at how long the lines were for the restrooms ... decided that we should head on down to the track.  

Abby wanted to be right up front .. and well, frankly, I did not because there are a lot of shenanigans that go on up there .. but I didn't want her to get smashed ... so up we went.  Here's how close we were to Blake -- Literally just a couple of rows from the stage.  (excuse the bad photo -- a pro photographer I'm not)

Okay, so being that close has advantages and disadvantages. Advantages:  You're so close to the talent that it feels like they are looking right at you when they are talking and singing.  You can see everything ... like, for example, Miranda Lambert standing on the side of the stage during Blake taking pictures with her phone (which were later posted on Twitter).  You're close so in the rare event that they throw something ... like a guitar pick, you can catch it.  (not that I did ... I'm just saying that it could have happened)

Disadvantages: You and the 300 other people that are jammed up next to the stage are packed in there pretty tight, so there is no fresh air to breath ... and trust me, you smell everything.  And because you're packed in there tight, people start to get stupid ... and fight.  Abby witnessed one fight in front of us -- that I completely missed because I was drooling over Josh Thompson.  And she completely missed the one behind us because she was drooling over Blake.  It's a trade off, I guess.   Other disadvantages are not being close to the porta-potties -- which technically were right next to us, but there was no way in hell I was leaving my "spot" to go anywhere ... including the beer truck.  

So that was a fun night.  I think that Abby had fun.  (although I asked her if she wanted to go to Toby Keith the following night too -- and she ditched me to hang out with Carol)  ...  I didn't have tickets to Toby however,  I was just going to sit in the free seats .. but no one wanted to go  with me .. and that's no fun, so I stayed home.  

Okay, fast forward to last Saturday,  after a couple of days of practically begging ... I convinced my friends Dave and Lisa to go to the DBQ County Fair with me.  Originally we were going to go on Friday night (and hence, could have heard Kelly Pickler) but then found a "deal" for ride bracelets for Saturday ... so that's when we went.  

So Lisa had never been to a fair - ever and found the whole thing interesting.  (even though she never went into the 4H building or other exhibits).  Dave and Lizzy (their 5 year old) walked through the Dairy Barns ... and we looked at the rabbits -- that I thought were overheated.  That took all of 5 minutes. The bulk of our day was spent on the midway making the most of our ride bracelets.  

Okay, let me first just say ... you don't to the fair to ride on "safe rides".  If you want safe rides, then go to Six Flags for your summer vacation.  Seriously.  I'm sure the fair rides are safe and have to pass some safety inspection by someone ... but it's the overwhelming sensation that they are "unsafe" that is the total thrill here.  

Case in point.  The Ferris Wheel.  When I was sitting in the "gondola" waiting for the other gondola's be to unloaded and loaded ... I seriously felt like I was going to fall to my death - for a couple of reasons.  First of all -- here's the only thing keeping a body inside the "car".   There's no lock on that door ... it doesn't freeze in place when the ride is in motion.  Nothing.  It's you and that flimsy little door and a long ass drop to the ground. 

 
















Secondly, while they are unloading and loading.. the cars circle around in slow-motion .. and shake like an earthquake just hit ... giving you the feeling that the bolt holding it together is going to snap any second.  And then, there's nothing to hold onto ... so you're left to cling to the plexiglass.   

Here's a shot of Lisa demonstrating the plexiglass hold. 

Ironically, once the ride was in motion, you completely forgot that any of that was a factor.  It was very smooth going and gave a great view.  






Here's the country side to the North-East. 

 And here's a great shot of the midway:

While we were up on the Ferris wheel I convinced my pal Lisa to go on this other ride called the Orbiter.  It is just like the scrambler of days gone by.  At first she said no way .. but I was insistent because it just looked like a lot of fun. I remember it being a lot of fun as a kid.    So finally she agreed.  So we got on.  We were the oldest "kids" on the ride.  So the thing started and it was really fun for about 90 seconds.  I was screaming and laughing and having a good time.  But then mysteriously it started to not be fun anymore ... I'd say at about 91 seconds in.  I could feel my stomach and all the crap that I had just devoured sloshing around.  Lisa said she couldn't hold her head up anymore.  I could barely even keep my eyes open, let alone hold a conversation.   Clearly everyone else on the ride felt the same way ... because the noise level went from screaming to dead silent.  Thankfully the ride stopped before I barfed all over the place. I was sick for a long while after that too.  I even had to go get a Sprite to calm my tummy. 

The orbiter  -- aka barf mobile.

 
So the other rides that we went on included the Himalayan ...  which I forgot was one of those rides that squished the rider on the outside.   

Here we are before the ride starts.  Love the old-time lights and decor on this ride.  And the "hidden" section behind the "duck blind.  Such a throw back!!   I truly tried not to smash Lisa but that was impossible. 

My other all time favorite fair ride is the Tilt a Whirl.  Love Love Love it.  Lisa's husband said he had never been on this ride before ever ... so when we were getting into the car, I commented that I loved this ride because its all gravity.  Well, he had to argue with me that there was no way gravity had anything to do with the spinning. He was convinced that it was motorized or something.   So, the ride starts ... and after about 30 seconds or so of us spinning around really fast, Dave says .. wow, maybe it's not motorized.  Ah ha ...  

I think ... in my non-scientific assessment of this ride .. it's gravity and the pitch of the platform the car is sitting on and the track that the platform and car swirl around on.   There's nothing mechanical about ... but a lot of weight in the car is a positive.  

Then we went on the "tornado" a couple of times.  This is a big mechanical swing with 4 seats -- and a steering wheel in the middle that, if so inclined, you could spin making your little quad swing spin around in addition to the actual ride spinning.  We went on this a couple of times -- even after I went on the barf-mobile.  


Other than than ... Dave and Lizzy went on the bumper cars, which after watching them for the 2 or 3 minutes the ride ran, I realized that bumpers cars are only fun if you know the other people riding them. Otherwise it's a bunch of nameless people driving around in and running into people they don't know .. or a bunch of kids getting stuck in the corner.  Boring.  


Lizzy, Dave and Lisa rode the kiddie roller coaster about 25 times.  In fact, Lizzie was off the thing and back in line a couple of times before we were even aware of where she went .... and she did this despite us telling her to stop or someone would steal her.  She didn't care.  


Then we watched her play some games ... very badly I might add... but clearly the object for a 5 year old isn't winning ... it's just throwing the rings -- balls-- or mallets because it's fun.  Who cares if you win anything.   (although unfortunately for Lisa, she did win a couple of things -- which guess who had to carry).  


So -- over the course of the 6 hours that we were there ... I ate another corn dog (and thank god I won't be eating another one of those til next year), a couple of glasses of lemonade, a chocolate ice cream cone,  2 1/2 cans of Coors Light, a Sprite and a slice of Papa Johns pizza.  So that about did me in for this year.   


Too bad they don't have go-carts at the fair.